You planned, you’ve prepared, and now the big day is here! You have a vision in your head about how smoothing this day should be. In your mind, the seamless transition from waking up on your wedding day all the way to falling asleep with your head on a pillow next to your sweetie is bound to come true. But you also know that it takes a lot of people and a lot of effort to make sure that the seamless transitions go off without a hitch!

And in order for that to happen, someone needs to make sure that everyone is doing their part to make YOUR vision perfect. So, you may have a friend or family member that may have a get-to-it attitude or have no problem being assertive. And if you select this person as your coordinator, you may be able to save money and have someone close to you that knows your vision take on a bigger role. But before you make that decision, here are 7 reasons we actually don’t recommend selecting this person.

1. Don’t mix business and pleasure.

   Being in a wedding to support your friend, aka you, the bride, is something that a lot of people get excited about! It’s a fun filled day full of celebration. If you task someone that is expecting a day full of pampering with a bunch of business, it could make the day a little stressful for them. If you add on this pressure, they may start to reconsider being in the wedding at all. Our recommendation is to keep people in either the business OR the pleasure category. Not both..

2. The more experience, the smoother the process.

   Hiring a coordinator that literally coordinates for a living is sometimes the best option to ensure that your day runs smoothly. There are a lot of things that can pop up during a wedding day and having someone that is experienced in handling these incidences is key to making sure there are no hold ups or surprises. If you choose someone in the bridal party that really hasn’t handled wedding day coordination, no matter how in command they can tend to be, there is a better chance of hitting tiny bumps in the road.

3. They may not be comfortable handling awkward situations.

   Not only does a wedding planner act as a coordinator, but they often wear many hats - including wedding security. While most venues have some sort of security, they typically don’t make final decisions on whether or not someone should leave. Partially because they’ve been hired muscle, and partially because they just don’t know the guest list. Having a disgruntled guest, especially when alcohol is added to the mix, is actually more common than one might think. If you “hire” your friend or another family member to be your coordinator, the role of security decisions falls to them. And bottom line, they may not feel comfortable asking someone to leave if their relationship could be on the line.

4. Who is keeping time?

   Part of the job of a wedding planner or coordinator is to make sure that everything runs on a timeline. Typically, this is a timeline that you helped to create, so you know just how important it is for you all to follow. But let’s say you designate one of your bridesmaids to be the coordinator as well. Who is going to keep time when she is sitting in the hair and makeup chair? Who is going to keep time for the transitions of the ceremony and reception if she is standing up at the front with you? You see what we mean? It’s really important to have someone that is free to be the timekeeper as your coordinator.

5. Who is keeping the bride?

   The title of bridesmaid actually dates all the way back to ancient Roman history when Roman law required 10 witnesses to deem a marriage legal. The party of witnesses usually consisted of the bride and groom’s family friends, hence “the bridal party” was born. The term bridesmaid derived due to the fact that it was the job of the women in the bridal party to “serve” the bride as if she had a maid. Honestly, that probably wasn’t super riveting information, but it does help to drive our point home! The duty of a bridesmaid is to tend to the needs of the bride. How is a bridesmaid able to fulfill her duties if she is off running around the venue trying to make sure that it all goes down the right way? How can she be in pictures with the bride and the rest of the bridesmaids if she is going to tell the groomsmen that they only have 30 more minutes until it is their turn? What if she misses the dress reveal because she is down in the reception hall handling an emergency??

As you can see, there is a lot more that goes into coordinating a wedding than you may think. And with all the added responsibilities, it may not be the best decision to have someone in your bridal party, or a close family member, be the event coordinator if you want them to be able to also enjoy your wedding instead of feeling like they are “on the job.” If you’re unsure as to whether or not you’ll need a coordinator, make sure you read our post 7 Reasons to Hire a Wedding Planner!

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